RetaeaWriting

Heather Nicole

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.43. by RetaeaWriting, literature

Literature

.43.

I have a paranoia With wide, frightened eyes Cowering within me, But always watching. It feeds on the words of others And the expressions on faces given, Claws between lines and scavenges For disapproval. I have a worried mind That constantly fears Of the words said behind backs And the thoughts kept to self, Forever wondering if someone Has the wrong idea. Never finding a place It believes it will fit in And rarely ever seeing a face It doesn't believe Might harbor hatred. Wherever I may go, I ponder on the thoughts of others With a secret and bothersome focus That tears me down. You may smile when I am near And you m

.42. by RetaeaWriting, literature

Literature

.42.

Under a blanket Surrounded by cold With eyes fixed on a clouded sky. In this moment With your voice And your warmth, and smile I find perfection. Runaways. From one's skewed logic, But also from elements So much bigger, Like a world Lacking morals... Destruction and decline, Ignorance And attitude. Together, entwined Speaking of the things around us. Tonight, I look down at you Resting upon me Speaking to me And over and over it comes to me: 'How beautiful.' You, And we, Felt inside, Shared and seen And in my , Mind, and Look at what we have... Oh, just look... For if I believed in gifts from heaven, This [ .

.41. by RetaeaWriting, literature

Literature

.41.

When I found her again, She was standing on the beach, at the edge of the water, Staring out at the horizon, Hair blowing gently yet wondrously, Trying to decide if she really did exist. I could sense her there, before I even admitted a thing, Before I truly could tell myself, There she is, Standing right before me. I watched her for a while. She was new, she was transparent, She would not stand still, Even though she never moved her feet. I thought her like an image on the television, On a channel so unclear That the figures danced across the screen And the words all came out Warped and scattered. She was a new birth, just

.34. by RetaeaWriting, literature

Literature

.34.

"There's nothing to do in the night," He screams And I'm standing nearby Amidst the life. Drowning out his howls I face the shore And watch it meet the glass. They gather in a wavering line And I could swear they're all just demons Waiting for their turn. I glance over. My accomplice stands, a shadow in the shade Hair blowing across his face, But he is nonexistant. I blink, and nothing stands. I blink, and nothing stands. On a boat, reality gathers up his things And I wait, a ways away Reflecting on how nothing will be comfortable now. Slowly, I'll become the sand And lose myself for a while. The world around us whistles

.31. by RetaeaWriting, literature

Literature

.31.

Staring at the background Of a friend I hardly see There's a rhythm that is building With the words inside of me So I write without a topic And I breathe without a goal And I stand here never touched While friends are bearing foals And I know I am not ready Yet this is where they stand With little ones among them Holding little tiny hands And I still am just a child So I watch from far away And listen to the noises The occasional small neigh And this is what becomes In the future of my own In a handful of my years When I extend my home Outside of always. Turning of the topics, I find people all around That try eroding p

.30. by RetaeaWriting, literature

Literature

.30.

Who are these people Who stand before us tonight? If we could hear thoughts We could hear nothing But something so deafening So definite Elaborate. I want nothing to do With these people Who try to dig in Waving their arms and shouting "Hey, hey! Look at me!" When I can see through their words And stolen identities To something not yet evolved. So let's play a game, you and I. You chase me And I'll chase you In our diligent, but brilliant ways. And again upon a time We can meet in the middle To look at eachother, And share a beloved smile. Then reach out your hand for me to take softly And lead me to our world Apart f

.29. by RetaeaWriting, literature

Literature

.29.

Don't let them tell you that you can't Find anything special At this place in time. Don't let them tell you that you're destined To hit and go Find a catch, Leave it there... Moving on. If I can Fight this off Then I can do Anything But do I want to Rid myself of This binding? There comes a problem When I'm scared to Take off the chains Of a previous official state. A problem When someone beckons And I cannot come Because I know That harmony is not there. When you find something That is An epiphany The standards are High for the rest. And when you're still set on Something supposedly ended Are you then stubborn

.28. by RetaeaWriting, literature

Literature

.28.

When all I have is the time that I'm losing I will pause and reflect On everything That I'm starting to believe in. And when the world comes together Only to drift again, I'll be lost in hopes that unfurl And wrap themselves around me. If I told you that I need this Or atleast I'd like to further believe this Would you run from Or reach out to me? You don't know that it haunts me That I'm falling in however many ways. Falling for, And falling down, How the watchers wonder And whisper to eachother About what might have been Or might progress to be. I wonder, too... But stay silent in my hatchlings And bury within the shel

.26. by RetaeaWriting, literature

Literature

.26.

I don't want to hear The look in your eyes When you worry about what I think And what I feel About everything. Do what you want And want what you do And I'll meet you someday somewhere And we'll converse Stories of whatever. The irony is hovering I shoot glances at it It'll go away When I feel That you don't feel. Happiness is something That maybe you can now acquire And I'll meet you there with time When something Happens for me, too. It's still cold outside Summer as my metaphor Similar, a simile My life is like the winter And I shiver And I close my eyes And wait for warmer weather. All the loose ends are tying t

.25. by RetaeaWriting, literature

Literature

.25.

Hey. Remember? All the different little things... You remain within my mind Pretend to be repressed Resurface In the hallway, Caught my eye. Catch my eye... Always. Remember? On the couch, Moments On the floor, Moments You and I Moments We and you. Not a touch... But caress Loss of time... Crater Eyes I Remember? Of course. Off course, Still glancing Thinking back on Harmony Thinking back on Words said Things shared Secrets. Treasure. Messages... Speak in tongues Speak in silence Speak in looks Thoughts collided Intertwine And hold me there Don't let go of me. Don't let go of What we had What we ha

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Courage and Intelligent Mind by RetaeaWriting, literature

Literature

Courage and Intelligent Mind

I watched as she cut him with her words And tossed him to the side I watched him stand and sway with the wind I watched him swallow his pride God gave him courage and intelligent mind And he looked her in the eye And he said "Well if this is the end, Your loss, my gain Thanks for the lesson Thanks for the pain I thought I knew better Thought I made the right choice But I was wrong, wasn't I Your loss, my gain" I watched He turned and slowly walked away I watched Saw through his disguise The moonlight streamed down upon him I saw the tears glisten in his eyes I watched, nothing more What could I do But caress him with wo

Building Blocks by RetaeaWriting, literature

Literature

Building Blocks

Part 1 I'm wishing for another sense to see I need to read your thoughts So I know what to believe You're standing right next to me But those aren't your eyes I see You're slowly shutting me away I don't understand Can't pull you back alone Why won't you give me a hand So there you go Is this what you really want? I see your wall being built Upon my hidden tears inside Upon what you won't let me know I cast out my line Bait of hopeful, wishing words In hope of catching onto why Your picture fades away Like night with the rising sun Your friendship fades away It wouldn't, but you watch it pass Deep inside you've got the a

Another Bad Day by RetaeaWriting, literature

Literature

Another Bad Day

I watch and scream silently As they take it all away from me Wincing, staring violently As they take it all away from me They take it all away And come back for more They've taken all I've got to live for But they keep coming back again for more [Chorus:] I walk through my day And hold it all inside I still live I am still alive But I don't see why It's all a big waste I'm used to the taste Of life gone wrong I just wish I just wish It would all go away I just wish I just wish It would all go away * Every single time I get a little better Life gets a little better People stab me And toss me to the ground Over a

Underestimate by RetaeaWriting, literature

Literature

Underestimate

I bet you don't care, you don't care, you don't care If I fade away into the darkness If you and me and you get farther, do you? And I bet that you see, you see, you can see What you're doing to this so-called friendship You pretended to share with me, I see Contrary to what others expect of you I should have known, should have, have known That you would go and leave me stranded Stranded in my desert Here I fall, you left me, you left me To live my life and conquer all my enemies All by myself And you left me, you left me, all alone How could you do this to me? How could you do this to me? I guess I should have known Should I

In Reality by RetaeaWriting, literature

Literature

In Reality

It's hard to know who to trust Everyone around me Barely acknowledges my presense In reality* If there was one guy That would return the amount of love I'd feel for him each day* If there was one guy Who could say honestly That I'd be alright That I'd feel worse, not better If I took my own life* If there was one guy Who'd hold me in his arms When I am down Maybe even just because I'm around Could provide a shoulder when I ask For comfort when I cry* If there was one guy That would take my hand When I have fallen And hug me when I'm lonely And stay with me when I'm drowning* More than thinking I need you But who the

You and Me by RetaeaWriting, literature

Literature

You and Me

All day I've felt empty and hollow Like an important part of me is gone And I cannot surrender to the forces That are telling me it's over and it's done Because inside I wonder Will I ever be alright again? Because inside I ponder and I Don't think I can be alright again Chorus: All I need All I want right now All I live to see Is us again somehow In your arms once more I long to be Hoping it's not over You and me All I need All I want right now All I live to see Is us again somehow In your arms once more I long to be Hoping it's not over You and me I miss the feeling of your arms I miss the look in y

My Picture by RetaeaWriting, literature

Literature

My Picture

I found a picture today Not just any picture It was a picture Of my one lost true love Now you might just Find this to be boring But I'll just sit adoring My picture The picture Of the guy I once knew I can take one look And tell the story to you Of this picture [Chorus:] The picture Taken on a coach From the side and outside You could see the green fly by and You can see my heart's guide and You would see who's always on my mind If you saw my picture But none of you Know what I know Feel what I feel See the memories that flood my eyes And none of you Shed the lonely broken hearted tears Feel the pain inside you N

Broken-Winged Bird by RetaeaWriting, literature

Literature

Broken-Winged Bird

You seem to be all better now Just remember this as you fly You had to stomp me to the ground You had to go and drag me down Just to get up so high Don't let me smudge your crown Was it me or was it you Who had to go and tear apart this All I know is it was you Who was nothing but cold and heartless And if you could remove that mask Of stubbornness from your face You'd realize you were just as bad as me And that you wouldn't let it go In the first place You seem to be all better now You think pushing me away is what helped you fly All you were was cold and heartless Let me be the first to scream goodbye Y

Enjoy It While It Lasts by RetaeaWriting, literature

Literature

Enjoy It While It Lasts

You know.. At the moment.. I do see a tiny ray of light Shining through the dark clouds I'm thinking maybe things will be alright I lean back and observe the rain Falling all around me Surrounding me It's been drowning me for so long But maybe there's hope after all Look up ahead I see the sky is falling When summer comes My love moves away And I become lonely Once again that day Look up ahead I see the possibilities The fact anything can happen It snuggles me close What a powerful thought I've grown, haven't I? They say it takes strength to realize That though another storm is coming It cannot last, I know it will

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About RetaeaWriting

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Artist // Literature

United States
Deviant for 19 years
RetaeaNicole.deviantart.com/
She / Her

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My Bio

Current Residence: Holland, Michigan
Operating System: XP
MP3 player of choice: iPod Photo.
Favourite cartoon character: You.

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

The list is long, but music is love.

Favourite Writers

Francesca Lia Block.

Tools of the Trade

Words, thoughts, and emotions.

Other Interests

Paranormal, dreams, psionic research, art, photography, music, singing, poetry, writing...etc.

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RetaeaWriting

Sep 14, 2005

19

0 min read

Nineteen submissions while I'm sitting here should bring you up to date in poetry I've written, and anything that gets submitted after this moment is either newly made, or found written in my room. The ones I just submitted came from my online journal, the one that houses all of my newer poetry. But you'll find that told in the descriptions anyway. Thank you to the following people for subscribing to this account. evnishen (https://www.deviantart.com/evnishen) PlanetGridlock (https://www.deviantart.com/planetgridlock) IsaacMcDougal (https://www.deviantart.com/isaacmcdougal) k-9wolf (https://www.deviantart.com/k-9wolf) ShatteredFantasy (https://www.deviantart.com/shatteredfantasy) Serou (https://www.deviantart.com/serou) Ice-11 (https://www.deviantart.com/ice-11) TheKnightInDarkArmor (https://www.deviantart.com/theknightindarkarmor) mirroredtruths (https://www.deviantart.com/mirroredtruths) MongolianBarbieShoe (https://www.deviantart.com/mongolianbarbieshoe) krry (https://www.deviantart.com/krry) thewhiterabbitsr (https://www.deviantart.com/thewhiterabbitsr) & :devsa

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RetaeaWriting

Jun 26, 2005

Hm. Sorry. But... we're a little more caught up.

0 min read

Alright. I apoligize for bombarding you with deviations, but once I get going with something, I put a lot of effort into it for a while. You now have everything I feel like submitting that's in my computer files, poem/song-wise. Except for one or two, which I may submit, but I want to do everything in order. We're up to January, 2004, and now I have to switch over to my poetry journal and get my works from there to put in here.... the ones I like enough, atleast. There are about 35 to read through and ponder upon whether I should submit or not. For those of you who agreed with me that a lot of my 2003 things were...meh...the more recent ones

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RetaeaWriting

Jun 25, 2005

Hello there, darlings.

0 min read

There we go. That's a little more updated. I changed my ID, which I no longer liked, and then ended up changing the webcam around too, because it for whatever reason wasn't working anymore. Thank you to those of you who've either recently subscribed or have sat around wondering when I'll submit something here again. My main account gets used about 100 times as often. Those of you who are new... this is my writing one, so I'll mainly have my poems here. If you're more interested in photos and paintings, I suggest perhaps visiting my other account: RetaeaNicole (https://www.deviantart.com/retaeanicole). Thanks. And with that... I'm off to consider if I want to submit something ton

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RetaeaWriting

Jun 6, 2006

Oops. Yeah. Wasn't supposed to favorite that with this account.

...And. I just wrote something, got rid of it, and posted it somewhere else.

RetaeaWriting

May 20, 2006

I've just spent quite a while contemplating whether to submit thoughts as a scrap here... but, I suppose, in the end, if I do anything, I'll do so in xanga.